Thursday, February 26, 2009

Milk for Zoe the Beginning!

As you know Zoe is our third little one. With my oldest, Charlie, I was 20 when he was born. I was a baby and the whole idea of dieing to self had not even crossed my mind. I knew we were not rich so I thought I would give the whole breastfeeding thing a whirl. Well, it lasted 2 days until it started to hurt and I was done. Seriously, done. Five years later, I tried to breastfeed Maddy but she didn't want to and I still wasn't there yet. FIVE MORE YEARS LATER...Zoe.

I had to give this nursing business one more shot it was the last I would have. I determined not to give up. Dave was very on board and wanted to help me. We were going to do this together.

From the previous post..., you will note that Zoe was very jaundiced and underweight when we came home from the hospital. I was supplementing and trying to get her to latch on desperately trying to get her to latch on and do it right.

A word about breastfeeding: It hurts. And when lactation consultants tell you it shouldn't...they are wrong because it does. At least it did for me. It was painful. It made me cry, cringe, grit my teeth and hang on for dear life every time it was time for Zoe to eat. I would hang my head while she was latching on and stamp my foot and cry or pray that the Lord would take this pain away. All the while I had to relax to let my milk down. I didn't want to give up. I wanted God to have this glory. Not that if you don't breastfeed you are wrong, it's that I wanted to prove to me, God, my children and my husband that I could do all things through Christ. Like this and our labor experience (see God held my hand and strengthened me and grew me more than I could have possibly imagined.

After a month (AN ENTIRE MONTH) it stopped hurting. It really did. And we would have wonderful moments together and it was good. I still look down at her while we are nursing and wish that we didn't have to stop and that she didn't have to grow up. It gives me time to relax and be with her. It enables me to pray for her. I pray that she will grow up to be a mighty woman of God and that her life will be full of His peace and understanding. Sisters, this is what it is all about. Loving our children in the moment, the way they need to be loved. This is what I have learned.
Philippians 4:13 (Today's New International Version)
13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Little Yellow Zoe!

Our time in the hospital was pretty quick. We hadn't quite got the hang of nursing and Zoe was yellow with Jaundice but the pediatrician was willing to let us go provided with check in with our pediatrician the following day.

We escorted our new baby home. Immediately I knew that nursing this baby was going to be hard. But, being I did not nurse the other two, I was determined to experience this with our last baby. She had been given formula at the hospital the first night because I had to recover from getting my tubes tied. I think that is probably why we had a hard time ramping up and my milk was sloooow to come in. Nevertheless, we were going to do it anyways.

The next morning we took Zoe to the Dr. for a check up and some testing for Jaundice. She had lost weight and even the whites of her eyes were yellow. We tested her and went home to wait on the results. They came back high, or at least higher than what she was in the hospital.

Over the next 4 days we went back and forth to the hospital getting her tested and weighed. In the meantime I was trying to get her to nurse and supplement with formula at the same time. Finally on the fourth day, the Dr. called and said "I am going to wait on these last results but if they are not the same or if they are higher we will put Zoe back in the hospital."

Side Note: Our normal pediatrician had been out of town. The Dr. on call was a sweet sweet lady. She was/is a believer and told me she took the names of her patients home with her to pray for them. Oh how this touched my heart.

Well after receiving the phone call from our pediatrician I immediately went to Zoe, took off her little onesie and laid my hands on her. I told our saviour that she was His and that if he would, please heal her from this. I asked Him to help me take care of her. (I'm just crying remembering this tender moment) Not two minutes after my prayer the Dr. called to say that her levels were fine and that we can expect them to start going down more rapidly.

Oh man, how I was relieved, grateful and just in awe of the gift I was given to watch my little one healed by her creator.

Psalm 127:3 (The Message)
Don't you see that children are God's best gift? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? Like a warrior's fistful of arrows are the children of a vigorous youth. Oh, how blessed are you parents, with your quivers full of children! Your enemies don't stand a chance against you; you'll sweep them right off your doorstep.