Thursday, February 26, 2009

Milk for Zoe the Beginning!

As you know Zoe is our third little one. With my oldest, Charlie, I was 20 when he was born. I was a baby and the whole idea of dieing to self had not even crossed my mind. I knew we were not rich so I thought I would give the whole breastfeeding thing a whirl. Well, it lasted 2 days until it started to hurt and I was done. Seriously, done. Five years later, I tried to breastfeed Maddy but she didn't want to and I still wasn't there yet. FIVE MORE YEARS LATER...Zoe.

I had to give this nursing business one more shot it was the last I would have. I determined not to give up. Dave was very on board and wanted to help me. We were going to do this together.

From the previous post..., you will note that Zoe was very jaundiced and underweight when we came home from the hospital. I was supplementing and trying to get her to latch on desperately trying to get her to latch on and do it right.

A word about breastfeeding: It hurts. And when lactation consultants tell you it shouldn't...they are wrong because it does. At least it did for me. It was painful. It made me cry, cringe, grit my teeth and hang on for dear life every time it was time for Zoe to eat. I would hang my head while she was latching on and stamp my foot and cry or pray that the Lord would take this pain away. All the while I had to relax to let my milk down. I didn't want to give up. I wanted God to have this glory. Not that if you don't breastfeed you are wrong, it's that I wanted to prove to me, God, my children and my husband that I could do all things through Christ. Like this and our labor experience (see God held my hand and strengthened me and grew me more than I could have possibly imagined.

After a month (AN ENTIRE MONTH) it stopped hurting. It really did. And we would have wonderful moments together and it was good. I still look down at her while we are nursing and wish that we didn't have to stop and that she didn't have to grow up. It gives me time to relax and be with her. It enables me to pray for her. I pray that she will grow up to be a mighty woman of God and that her life will be full of His peace and understanding. Sisters, this is what it is all about. Loving our children in the moment, the way they need to be loved. This is what I have learned.
Philippians 4:13 (Today's New International Version)
13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

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