Are you kidding me?

Up until Zoe both of my two kiddos were very late and big babies. Well Maddy was big. She was almost 10 lbs. She was a shock and I was induced about a week after my due date. The picture above? That was the night before Zoe was born. It was a few days before my due date but my doctor didn't induce over the weekend and well, I didn't want another 10 lb baby. Another interesting tid-bit about my prior two labors was I had an epidural with both of them, no problem, despite the fact of having Harrington rods in my back.

So our story begins. I was admitted the night before to do a procedure to that would dialate my cervix. It took all night but at 4am i was dialated enough to start on pitocin. Which starts contractions and then labor starts. The anesthesiologist was busy that morning in a c-section. So, the nurse said I would have to just wait a little while for an epidural. My dad and Dave stayed with me and held my hand through contractions that were pretty intense because of the pitocin. A couple of weeks before I had had a conversation with a sister in law, who has given birth at home, about natural childbirth. She said it wasn't a huge deal you just can't be scared of contractions. So with this great advice I knew that I had to be in control and not be scared. However, my husband's favorite phrase of the day was "Are you kidding me?!". I just couldn't believe I was having to go through this. But, I knew I wasn't alone and that God was not surprised by my situation.

I labored along for quite a while. Then the anesthesiologist came in and attempted to give me an epidural. He tried everything and it just would not take. So, we decided that since I was dialated to an 8 at that time (10 being the most you can dialate) that we would just not keep trying.

Zoe was born at noon that day. And I was left with a since of accomplishment that I had never felt before. I was strong. I was able to give birth without drugs and God had prepared me before without me even knowing about it.

This wasn't the end of God working in me. (He still is!) But what I learned from that and what happened next was that we are made for work. We are made for hard work! We can do things that we didn't think we could do before.

Ps. 139: 13-16 (The Message)

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day.